mess up aku (Posted September 14, 2008)

OMG.. i never thought that i could be such a mess..      life is now a mess…   destroyed by my impulsiveness..    im taking a break..    sana lang things will work out well..      i hate myself..    i hate being me..     eto na naman aku..     sabi ku na kasi eh..    dont be soo attached..   mahirap masaktan..      di kta kayang harapin kaya im taking a break..     see you pag kaya na kitang harapin..      kahit sabihin mu sakin na nothing will change.. pare.. everything is a mess.. di na pwede yung dati,,   i want to hug you pero i know hindi pwede.. sa sobrang sakit ng nararamdaman ku baka masakal lang aku..          nobody knew what happened except me and you.. thats the least thing na pwede mu gawin para sakin.. by not telling it to the crowd..   salamat..       pero di pa rin neto mababago na im total mess.. bakit ku ba ginawa to..         you made me feel that im such a fucking idiot..       damn..         youre the best thing that happened to me.. and now, with that belief,.. im the worst thing that you can ever imagine.. laughed at me.. say that you will still be there.. but it will not changed the truth that life right now is a mess..       saten na lang tong dalawa..     im taking a break..      i just wish youll be happy..

 

– sad much. i feel so sad seeing this. it brings me back to that stupid time. when i break the line between love and friendship. it took almost a year to recover. until now, i think im still coping up. im trying to erase what happened but i guess, this thing cant be erased. hindi mahirap kalimutan eh. we are bestfriends. or we used to be.

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kf supremacy outshined detractors (posted Jan 22, 2008)

Kf, we will soar up high… imagine,
being compare to a humming
bird..
laking iba natin dun.. Kf will always
be as colorful as the
rainbows after a
strong heavy down pour…

i will always cherish the
people i
have been with for the past years..
thank God, He knows who to
put in the
publication office.. o diba?? we were
there because it was
destined… we
made slsu community sparks to the
highest level right.. we
dont spark
for the wrong reason..(example neto eh
ang paninira sa ibang
publikasyon para
lang me bumasa sa mga akda nila..
kawawang bata.. di man
lang
pinagkalooban ng Diyos ng matinong pag-
uutak..haha)
we spark on
the right track.. the
right path.. which is toward the
scholastic
journalism…

kuya wilyam.. no matter how many
detractors you have,
you will always
be our kuya who knows everything…
that alone makes other
’sparkling
shining shimmering people’ envious..
kaw ba naman ang EIC ng
Kingfisher,
ang official publication ng
university.. haha… eh di
laking
inggit ng mga un.. haha..

cess.. mushyness is just our way
of
showing people we care.. we reacted so
much on that ’stupidity’ because
we
love the organization we tried to
regain the supremacy for the
past
years.. and of course, we love the
organization because of the
people
inside it.. the intelligent and
reasonable persons behind the
success
of our university in the region 4..

dads… silence is always
the best way
to say you care… i always knew it,
your silence speaks a
lot.. lets just
take the ‘paninira’ as something to
make our gems more
“shining,
shimmering one” sabi nga ni kuya
diba?? we are his “hiyas” na
yearly eh
napopolish… well we were polished
and our sparks are the true
sparks of
a gem.. not fallacy.. hehe..
sometimes, we have to go down
the
pedestal in order for them, im
refering to our sparkling
followers,
to reach us.. they cant reach us if we
dont go down, that would
be hard for
them, only bright people with CS can
do that..

yoben…
sometimes, we have to express
our emotions in order to get even…
hindi
kelangan na laging api apihan
ang bida.. remember, tayo ang bida
dito at
luma na ang mga eksenang
nagpapatalo ang bida at tanggap lang
ng tanggap
ng batikos.. we are in the
modern world of high technologies and
upgraded
softwares.. tayo lang ang
nakakaafford nian.. idol nga nila tayo
diba??
and sometimes, protecting what
you love most is one way of telling
people
that you are a great person
because you do not allow others to
hurt them
right??

kuya essex, showing emotions is not a
sign of weakness.. it is
sometimes the
start of something sparkling… haha..

janlo, its
our right to fight for what
we believe in is right… and what we
believe
in is always right.. kaya nga
tayo nasa taas diba?? we allow
criticisms
but not in the extent of
criticizing the credibility of our
own
progenies… haha parang anak…
because our writers and
graphic
artists are our successor.. the
persons who would continue our
aim..
to be able to soar up high.. since we
soared high… its
their
responsibility to maintain the
supremacy and its nice to know
that
they will also fight for the
organizations we have fight
for…

kf seniors (our successor.. the future
EDs) dont let fear
overcome you..
tandaan, tayo ay mga elitista na ang
tanging hanggad eh
magtagumpay sa
larangang ating pinilit tahakin… at
ang pagtahak na ito
ay worth it di
ba??? haha… i love you guys and no
other polarbear
sparkling people could
bring us down… we have a lot of
supporters out
there… tandaan, nasa
atin pa din ang huling HALAKHAK..
hehe…

 

-now i miss KF.

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thesis has been defended.. (posted Nov 27, 2007)

my thesis has been defended.. it was one of those events that i consider a turning point.. imagine.. im on my way to marching down wearing that most precious black gown with my dad on my side.. i may not be graduating with flying colors..(coz im too stupid of missing classes when i wanted to sleep.. hehe..) but i heads up coz i survived the hardship of being a pre med student.. damn ol those stupid instructors who gave me that damn stupid grade of “3.00” hehe.. i may not be this eager to graduate without the pressure of my parents.. but im still glad to graduate on college as a teenager.. imagine, all my classmates would have their degree at 20 or more but me, at the age of 19, bacaullaureate graduate na ku.. hehe.. i feel so terrible the past days but the defense lessen y worries.. i have to thank everyone who has been there with me.. my classmates who had helped me financially,(coz i wasnt able to go home and get my allowance for the past week) my friends who gave inspirational messages and most especially, my inspiration with all of this.. my bhabie.. hehe.. i know tampo ka sakin.. soory aman… luv you.. mwah mwah…

– weeeh. i was wondering who my bhabie was. hmmm.. memory gap much.

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anyone can read it.. (posted Oct 21, 2007

my gosh.. i never thought that Mussaendas could be this so annoying.. simula ng magalit ang taxo instructor namen sa class namen and she even gave us a terrifying 5.0 in our final term.. my gosh!! what the heck!! i never really appreciate the beauty of Mussaendas… i even wrote an article entitled “the day i hated plants:Fairy lilies vs Mussaendas”.. hay.. its really annoying.. fave ku pa man din xa.. but its so irrelevant… basta..

on the lighter side… i have this trip sa tagaytay on the 25th.. hay.. and guess what??? i will be joined by my soulmate/… haha.. yeah.. kasama xa sa trip… parang i could not refuse the call.. i still love the guy i had known and longed and dreamed for the past four years of my college life… ewan ku.,, all i know is that the day i had seen loitering around the campus.. that’s it.. wearing that yellow astro boy shirt.. i know he will make a difference.. right now, i cannot imagine my college life without the gut who turned my boring college life into somewhat interesting one.. haha.. sabi nga nung x-frend ku na inlove na ulit ngayon eh “makulay ang buhay sa sinabawang gulay” haha… basta.. all i know is i loved to be with him… kahit pa nga sabihin that my grad is on hang dahil sa thesis.. i will still choose to be with the guy.. that’s three days.. and i hope sa three days na yun marealized namen that were meant.. haha… meant to be frends.. yeah.. showbiz… well, people come and go pero xa… i hope hindi… he’s one of those people that ive met na ayokong mawala.. he became a very big part of my life… i always believed that everything happens for a reason… the day we met, the night i saw him sa ballroom night namin… the days we used to call and text each other.. the day we became hausmates… the day we watched a theater play sa ccp together… the day we used to laugh and talk sa rooftop ng bvh… hay.. i miss those times.. alam ku its not a coincidence na naging hausmates kame,… i believed there’s much deeper reason behind it.. malay natin.. 5 – 10 years from now… i just hope..

well, i believed were soulmates… hindi man sa earth, siguro sa heaven…

 

-well.. now, he’s married with one kid. unhappy though. that’s what he said the last time we saw each other. about 3 months ago. tsk. its been 4 years when i wrote this and a lot of things happened. we were like on the peak of our getting to know friendship, though we knew each other for more than 6 yrs. it was sad. i cried. i shed a lot of tears for this guy. i guess, we’re not meant. but i believed in soul mates. because he was mine.

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even if… (posted Sept 23, 2007)

Even if the sun refused to shine, even if we lived in different times
Even if the ocean left the sea, there would still be you and me…

it was only now that i had realized how this song was sooooo inspiring yet it brought a lot of tears in me when i heard this song.. earlier, i had watched an episode of “ur song” which stars sam concepcion and lauren young.. what was sooo special about the story was the guy(sam) have this neighbor (lauren). their both on their last year in hogh school… the girl insisted of her being a “manghuhula” but the guy still refuses the idea because according to him it was not true.. that the girl do not have any idea of what she was talking about… time came that the guy discovered that her mother was suffering cancer. it was then when he recalled that the girl told him that “someone closed to him would soon be gone”.. he cried at the thought but when his mother told him that the said cancer was just a false alarm, he became happy and had told the girl that she really was never a “manghuhula” because no one closed to him was going to die or just be gone… but the girl still insisted that she was telling the truth and someday, the guy would realized that she was telling the truth. until their graduation day came… the girl pala was diagnosed with a diabetes that was inborn to her… the doctor told the girl’s mom that “swerte nang umabot ng 8 yrs old..” but she managed to survive… the guy and the girl liked each other but the mere fact that the girl was dying left me, i think even other audiences tearry-eyed… gosh… i never thought that it could happened to real life.. but who knows… life is full of mysteries… but i just want to realized that no matter how and where life takes me… Even if the world would disappear, even if the clouds would she’d no tears, even if tonight was just a dream, there would still be you and me.. hay.. if that would happen to me.. na sana wag mangyare… i’ll be the loneliest person on earth… wag sana kame matulad ni….. sa story nung dalawa.. ayuku pa ireveal… haha… there’s always time for everything… ni hao!!!!!!!!!

 

– i remember  crying when i watched this show. hai.. now i remember AJ.. rest in peace.

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thesis… (posted Sept 23, 2007)

gosh… do i need to reiterate that thesis is indeed one of those things that i really hated in college daYS??? my gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!! but when rocky told me about the write up that i made for our chapter 4 which is the results and discussion, OMG!!!!!!! how i love thesis now.. he told me that the what i wrote was something very nice… it was actually very good… waaah… he didnt know pla that i am a university wide writer.. now he knew… and that was a big pressure.. hearing sir ricky’s compliment made my heart bursts with so much emotions.. c ricky kaya un… hay/…. now i dont know what to think… maiinis ba aku sa thesis o matutuwa???

-now you know why we had rickyphobia. hahaha. pero i was really happy nung nacompliment nia yung work ku. to think that he was not aware about me being an editor of the university publication.. that was something. i love you sir ricky!

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thesis ulit… (posted Sept 13, 2007)

..my gosh!!!!!!!!! who invented the term  thesis ba??? my classmates and i could  have curse him/her.. shit… what  would be more tiring than doing those  bullshit thesis… hay.. life is so  unfair… why do Bio students have to  suffer that experimental thesis when  in fact those AB courses and other  college courses could have done  a “survey” thesis or just  those “kasimplihan” na thesis??? bakit  kami lang kelangan mahirapan…. just  this morning nagpass na kame ng draft  ng chapter4.. shocks.. a lot of tears  and sweat falls down samen dalawa ng  partner ku… bwisit talaga!!!!!!!!!!!! you know… everyone of us sa BIO 4 have this “rickyphobia” grabeh… a deadline is a deadline… no more no less…. i hate deadlines.. kala ku sa publication lang me deadline pati pala sa thesis. bwisit talaga…. i hate rickettsia………bading ka!!!!!!!

 

-hahahaha.. i remember “rickyphobia”. everyone in my thesis class has that. omigoshhhhh.. future kaya ang nakataya dun sa 1 unit na subject na yun. but i love ricky na. hahaha.. we owe him a lot.

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